My Favorite Science Geek Jokes

Q. Why are there so many pirates?
A. Because they're "Arrrrrr!" selected.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
A. To get to the same side.

Q. What's purple and commutes?
A. An Abelian grape.

Q. What do you call a black hole that writes wonderful Yiddish prose?
A. Isaac Bashevis Singularity.

Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a zebra?
A. |Elephant| |Zebra| sine theta

Q. What do you get when you cross a mountain climber with a zebra?
A. You can't. A mountain climber is a scal[e]r.

Q: What is non-orientable and lives in the ocean?
A: Mobius Dick.

Q: What does the “B” in Benoit B. Mandelbrot stand for?
A: Benoit B. Mandelbrot.

A hydrogen ion walks into a bar. "I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" says the bartender.
"I'm positive!"

A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender says, "For you, no charge!"

Two neutrinos go through a bar...

100,000 pascals go into a bar...

"We don't serve tachyons here," says the bartender.
A tachyon walks into a bar.

There are two types of people in the world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data sets

What is the volume of a pizza when it has a radius of z and a thickness of a?

There are three kinds of people in the world: Those who can count, and those who can't.

The programmer’s wife tells him: "Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen."
The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

After sex, one behaviorist turned to another behaviorist and said, "That was great for you, but how was it for me?"

A climatologist walks into a bar. "Where's the ice?"

Q. Why did the bear dissolve in water?
A. It was polar.